One Favour
by Loise
Summary: Trowa, Wufei, Heero and Duo meet up to discuss Quatre's new girlfriend. Pity they chose a bar... Lots of drunken pilots!


**One Favour**

_Notes:_ no idea where this came from. Mars? I don't own GW.

* * *

"She sucks..." Duo muttered.

There was a chorus of drunken agreements. Wufei briefly passes out on the table, everyone ignores him.

"How did she do it? Quatre's so smart, he shouldn't have fallen for her."

More murmuring.

"Do ya think she may have drugged him?" Heero slurs.

There was thoughtful silence.

"Well we could test his urine," Trowa suggested, cautious.

A tense silence.

"Nah," Duo waves the issue away, "Too icky. Plus, she would have gotten rid of the evidence."

Nods.

Wufei opens an eye, "Mmph."

Confusion.

"Um, what?" Duo asks.

"Obviously she is blackmailing him, imbecile."

"Oh. Nah, Quatre's too squeaky clean."

"Gundam pilot?" Trowa countered.

"If she brings that up, she have to explain her war crimes. I'm sure Quatre wouldn't be short on witnesses. She isn't the most likeable person. 'Specially after she switched sides to go to Zechs." Duo retorted.

"Hn. So what other options are there?"

Thinking.

Wufei grunted.

The others looked at him, but he remained slumped over the table, snoring.

"She's a spider."

"Huh? What are you talkking about? Last time I checked she was human... I suppose she could be some kind of mutant."

Trowa smirked, "Amusing but unlikely, more possible is the fact it that she is drawing him into her web," the others waited in anxious silence at his yarn as he yawned, he continued in a whisper."Then she will devour him. Like a widow spider, they eat their mates after mating." He leaned back in his chair.

"Maybe," Duo considered.

"Or she could really have always loved him but in her quest for him was lead down the trail of deceit and pain."

Silence.

"Heero, you really should send that manuscript to Mills and Boon." Trowa murmured.

Heero shrugged and suggested, "Sucubae?"

"Nah, then she would have gone after me."

Snorts all round.

"What? I am the most handsomest Gundam pilot!"

"You wish, I am." Heero insisted.

Trowa laughed snidely, "Delusional all of you."

"I am the prettiest!" Duo slammed his fist on the table, jarring Wufei.

Heero and Trowa glared at each other.

"Wuh? What are you guys arguing about?"

"I'm the most handsome!" Duo insisted.

"Puh-lease." Trowa spoke, sticking his tongue out.

Everyone looked at Heero.

He was smirking, then tossed his head back definitely, "Moi!"

Shaking his head Wufei muttered, "Mad, totally mad. None of you are the handsomest." A moment of respite. "I am."

Lots of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"No idea, Heero. Just keep on laughing." Duo giggled.

Wufei exploded, "I hate you all!" Crossing his arms across his chest he pouted.

Quiet.

"And he treats her with such reverence!" Heero snapped.

Sighs.

"I really don't know what he sees in her..." Wufei muttered.

"Yeah, I know. I mean, the eyebrows? So AC 194!" Duo made a weird hand gesture.

An awkward silence.

Trowa sipped his drink, "True about the eyebrows."

A round of nods.

"She got okay hair I guess," Heero said.

"Except for the eyebrows!" Duo mumbled with a threatening tone.

"Except for the eyebrows," Heero agreed.

"Eyes... are different." Trowa murmured.

"Pretty, in a dangerous way." Wufei added.

"One thing I can say about her, is that she has a killer body..." Trowa trailed off.

Wufei looked at him inquiringly, "Trowa? How do you know that? You haven't seen her naked have you?"

Trowa blushed, "Um, yeah."

"How?"

Everyone turned to Trowa eagerly as he shifted nervously on his chair.

"Uh, it was a couple of weeks ago and I was staying at Quatre's and well, she was there too. I think she had stayed the night, I didn't really want to ask Quatre and there was no way in hell I was going to ask her."

"That must have been embarrassing." Duo gulped his beer.

The green eyes closed in memory, "You have no idea. I was going to the toilet... but she was already there. In the shower. Naked. Wet."

"Oh... but aren't there like, fifty bathroom's at Quatre's?" Duo questioned.

"Yeah, but she was in mine." Trowa shuddered.

"There, there..." Heero tried to be consoling.

"It gets worse."

"How?" Wufei asked, afraid.

"Quatre was with her. They were busy, with their hands... my toothbrush. My poor toothbrush."

Everyone was frozen.

"Oh man, Minty?"

"Yes, Duo, Minty, my toothbrush of eight years!"

"It was time Trowa."

A tear was at the corner of Trowa's eye.

"Trowa?"

"Yeah Heero?"

"About Quatre's..." Heero made a vague gesture, "Was it big?"

"He could give Zechs a run for his money."

"You're kidding me? Three legged Zechs?"

"Yep."

"Shiiit!" Wufei exclaimed.

"Well I can see why she goes after him then." Duo mused.

"Yeah..." Heero murmured.

"And since she has killer body," Duo looked as Trowa and he nodded, "Then he must be attracted to her because of that. She has got lovely breasts."

They were all thoughtful.

"I don't know. Yanno how Quatre all emotiony and all. Well I can't see him having random sex with anyone without loving them or something." Wufei suggested.

"That's true," Duo considered.

Heero was mumbling something inaudible.

"What? You know something dirty about Quatre?"

Turning to Duo, Heero nodded.

Duo raised a brow, "You gonna tell us?"

"He had sex with Relena!" Heero blurted.

Shocked.

"Relena?" Wufei whispered.

Heero was swallowing madly from his drink.

"Christ."

Trowa narrowed his eyes, "How do you know?"

Sighing Heero slouched in his chair, "I caught them in the act."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So when did this happen?"

Taking another smaller, because he could see how he could get bigger, sip, Heero started speaking, "It happened at that charity ball where we were all auctioned off, remember?"

There were delicate shudder all around as they recalled the awful if highly successful ball.

"How could I forget. I was groped! By a seventy-eight year old!"

They all shared awkward glances above Wufei's eyes. They had heard this story a dozen times and it had yet to not disgust them. But he kept on telling them.

"Oh come on. You enjoyed it!" Duo accused.

"I did not!" Wufei shouted.

"Shut and let Heero finish." Trowa glared at them, "Go on Heero."

"I was hiding from my 'date' so I relocated to a closet and found them, kissing."

Duo frowned, "That doesn't mean they had sex."

"I went out of the closet. They didn't hear me. But I heard them."

"Wait a minute... why so curious about... Quatre's package."

Heero shifted, "I like to keep stats on people. That was one of the last for Quatre. He was the last one of that list."

Everyone was blushing.

"So you know about our..."

A short tense nod.

"Pervert." Trowa said, meaning something much more crude.

"Why?" Wufei was dumbfounded.

"Just in case, um, for a mission!"

"I feel so safe, so secure." Duo sarcastically muttered.

"Back to the femme fatale." Heero said quickly, far to quickly. "Quatre couldn't really love her could he?"

At once he realized his mistake. This was not just gentle ribbing, but he had mentioned the L word. it made everything so much more official, so serious.

"Could he?" Trowa whispered, "Quatre's not the kind of person to be pushed into somehing he doesn't want to do. If he wants something he will go after it. Maybe he really wants her."

Duo started, "But she - "

"There is nothing we can do really, if this is what he wants, Quatre can be very devious when he wants to be. Perhaps it is her who is being lead down this path," Trowa continued.

"Or he knocked her up." Heero contributed.

Trowa nodded seriously, "He must have been very drunk."

"Can't be as pissed as we are now." Duo mumbled.

"Wait! If they had kids..."

"Wufei, just don't go with that thought."

"Fine."

"Maybe he loves her, I don't know..." Trowa murmured.

There was silence, all lost in their thoughts.

"I'm back! I know, the drinks took forever, but the line went on for all eternity!" Smiling, Quatre distributed the drinks to his friends and sat down. They remained glum, "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'," Heero looked away sheepishly.

"Um, okay..."

"Actually it's about her, we were talking and just wanted to know, why?" Duo interrupted.

"Her? Oh her." Quatre shrugged, "I just love her her I suppose."

"That's it! I can't believe it! She, is she! Her mind is warped! How can you love her? Does she love you? I can't believe that cold untrusting shell of a human being could ever love you?"

Quatre looked shocked for a moment before looking down at his drink and smiling wryly, "Still haven submitted that manuscript have you yet Heero? Trust me, do it."

Heero swore in many different languages, Duo looked impressed and Wufei took notes while Trowa nodded proudly at his pupil.

"Just answer me seriously Quatre."

He put down his drink and stared at Heero, "I know she isn't the best person, but she does have her plus points."

"She did stab you." Trowa added.

"Yes, I know, I still bear the scar. But she has moved on and so have I. Can I ask you to do this same? Please? I don't ask you too much, just this one little favour."

They looked at Quatre, pleading and saw how sincere he was. Dorothy was a bitch but he loved her and they could accept that.

"Fine," Duo grumbled, "But just this once and drinks are on you! I need to get loaded, many times over."

He smiled and looked at the rest.

Trowa cooly nodded he assurance, leaned over and squeezed Quatre's shoulder whispering, "I trust you Quatre."

"So do I Winner. She must be..." here Wufei choked slightly, "A lovely woman for you to love her."

"Thanks Wufei." They all turned to Heero.

"Hn. Mission accepted."

They all groaned. "Get with the program, loser, that is so over Heero," Duo jibed.

"Really Heero, you shouldn't be so predicable. How times have we heard that before..." Trowa lightly voiced.

"A thousand thousand times..." Wufei griped.

"I really appreciate this, thanks."

They mulled in this bright new world.

"Now let's get smashed!"


End file.
